If only it were that easy.

So I realized today how lazy I've become. I don't know if it's OU or not, but I really think it's OU. Everything I need when I'm in Athens is either within walking distance or it's less than a mile away. My friends always come to my apartment; the bars are a block away; my refrigerator, computer, television, bed and bathroom are within 10 feet of each other (whereas at my house it feels like they're a mile apart); and I always have groceries so food is not a problem (my mom started this new thing where she goes to the grocery store every day to buy food just for that day).

So my current predicament is figuring out a way to cure my laziness. I wish the Bible had an index then I could just look up sloth, and God could give me the answer. If only it were that easy.

I was actually considering getting all the Christmas cleaning/ decorating done within the next few days, but it would take a great deal of boredom to drag me from my lethargic state. I was bored out of my mind today, but I was too lazy to drive anywhere. I'm also considering exercising. I don't know. It's going to start getting cold this week so jogging would be out of the question. I think it would make me feel better about myself at the very least. We'll see what happens.

I won't settle for anything but greatness.

I was talking to a friend of mine today about taking a giant leap of faith to achieve your dreams. He really made me think about believing in myself. I mean if you think about it, don't you think you're as good as the person sitting next to you? At the very least, don't you think you should be given the chance to prove yourself? Maybe you'll fail, but what if you don't?

The fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter if you succeed or not. The jump is what counts. Going out and doing it, whatever it may be. A game of poker, backpacking across Europe, whatever it is doesn't matter so as long as you want it; you want it so much you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't try.

I decided today that I won't settle for anything but greatness. You'll see. One day my byline will be worth something.

My Success Makes Up for All of My Mistakes

So I haven't updated in a while. My bad. I won't make any excuses. No I wasn't really busy this week, no I didn't get caught up at work and my laptop wasn't broken so just deal with it. I'm really just dealing with extreme laziness.

My sink is full of dishes, I haven't cleaned my room in over a week, the trash is over flowing and I have three books to read by Tuesday, but I just don't care right now. I'm lacking motivation and initiative.

I've been completely disheartened by the future, and I suppose I'm hoping my sloth will make the clock tick slower. I look ahead whether it's to break, next quarter or after graduation, and I can't help but think it's all a waste of time.

I party my way through the weekend and study my way through the week, but for what? Once I get this degree, no one is going to care that I've been on the dean's list, that I have a 3.4 GPA or that I aced my history midterm.

I've always been an advocate of "knowledge for the sake of knowledge," but anymore I just don't know. I'm happy I know things and that I can sit down with my less educated counterparts and realize that, but is it really going to get me anywhere? What does it matter that I know the history of almost every major war in recent history if no one cares? Or that I know according to the Associated Press, you should spell advisor with an "er" not an "or" even though no one spells it that way except journalists.

The thing is, I don't know, and I really don't think anyone does.
I heard someone slightly famous say this today: "My success makes up for all of my mistakes." I thought it was inspiring at first; then I was depressed. What if I'm not successful enough to make up for all of my mistakes?

What's this all about?

As it turns out, I'm terrified of putting a lot of personal information on the Web. So don't plan on reading about my inner most thoughts and feelings. Hah. I blame it on my parents. I won't throw away a piece of mail without ripping my name off every inch of it then tearing it into as many pieces as possible. My parents have gone through three paper shredders, all of which made it to the trash from over use. We just use a box to put mail in, and once a week, my dad burns the contents. Is it all that surprising that the 'net scares me?
Parents really are funny. Last summer my dad had issues with a columnist from our daily newspaper. One day he finally wrote a letter to the editor, and by wrote, I mean pen in hand. I had to type it and e-mail it for him. It's really kind of adorable. I respect and admire my dad more than anyone in the world, but he has no clue how a computer works, let alone the internet.
Maybe I should feel ashamed. Growing up in "Generation X," I guess I should be all about technology and fast accessible information. I am just not when it comes to me, which is the only reason I won't be famous.

So I joined the blogging club

So I decided to blog. It's 5 a.m., and I can't sleep. I guess I really have nothing better to do but sit at my computer and ramble. I fell asleep at 10 p.m., woke up at 3:30 a.m. and haven't been able to fall back to sleep yet. It's really annoying because I have to be at work in the morning, and I'm going to be exhausted. Not being able to sleep is definitely one of my least favorite things. No matter how hard you try, it just doesn't seem to work out for you. Oh well, I'm going to go hit my bed with my best shot and see what happens. I'm outta here.